How to Help Your Child Name & Express Their Feelings
As a parent, you may find it frustrating when your child is showcasing BIG emotions, but what is more worrisome is when you know your child should be showing emotions, but isn’t. Let’s explore some ways you can help your child express their emotions safely, and feel good doing it.
Why Emotional Expression is Important for Kids
When kids don’t have the words to express things clearly, their feelings can come out sideways. Suppressing emotions can lead to anxiety, behavioral issues, and difficulty connecting with others.
Children who can express their emotions appropriately are better equipped to handle stress, resolve conflicts, and build resilience. By creating a safe space for emotional expression, you're giving your child essential tools they'll use throughout their entire life.
Activities for Parents to Help Their Children with Emotions
There are many (and often simple) activities and actions you can take as a parent to help your child learn to express emotions properly in day-to-day life. Let’s take a look at a few we have found have really helped.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Once your child can communicate with their words effectively, you can try questions that invite your child to share more about their inner world. This is a good habit to get into, even if your child is already a pro at self-regulation. It helps build self-awareness, and helps you to start to see areas where they have mastery and where they need some extra support. To get them exposed to emotional exploration you can try this:
Instead of "Did you have a good day?,"
Try: "What was the best part of your day?"
"What felt frustrating today?"
“What was the hardest part?”
“What made you feel proud today?”
“Did anything surprise you today?”
Other effective questions include:
"If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?”
“How did that make you feel in your body?”
“What were you thinking when that happened?”
“What feelings felt biggest today?
“Were there any big feelings at school today?”
“Did anything make your feelings change during the day?”
This is great to practice around your home. These questions show genuine interest and help children practice articulating complex emotions.
Validate Their Feelings Without Fixing Them
When your child shares an emotion, it’s natural to want to jump in and make it better right away (honestly, this instinct works great for adults too). But when we move too quickly into fixing, minimizing, or explaining, kids often hear: this feeling is too much or you shouldn’t feel this way.
Instead, start by acknowledging what your child is experiencing. Validation helps children feel understood and safe—and paradoxically, it’s often what allows the feeling to settle on its own.
You can validate without agreeing, fixing, or changing anything by using simple phrases.
For validations, try:
"That sounds really hard"
“I can see you’re feeling really upset about this.”
“That was a big thing to go through.”
“I get why that would feel frustrating.”
To reflect what you see, try:
“I hear how angry you feel.”
“It seems like that really hurt.”
To hold space without fixing, try:
“You don’t have to figure this out right now.”
“I’m here with you.”
“We can just sit with this feeling for a minute.”
Validation doesn't mean you agree with their behavior, but it shows you understand their emotional experience. This helps children feel heard and teaches them that all emotions are acceptable, even if all behaviors aren't.
Match Their Intensity and Tone
When kids are overwhelmed, our words matter—but how we say them matters even more. Matching your child’s intensity and tone doesn’t mean matching their behavior or escalating the moment. It means communicating on the same emotional “volume” so they feel understood.
If your child is at a 10, responding at a 2 can feel dismissive.
Responding at a 12 will escalate things.
The goal is to meet them close enough that they feel seen—then gradually bring the intensity down.
Create an Emotion-Rich Vocabulary
Help your child develop the language to describe their feelings beyond "happy," "sad," or "mad." Introduce words like:
Frustrated
Disappointed
Overwhelmed
Excited
Nervous
Proud
Use these words during everyday moments. You might say "I feel anxious when I'm running late" or "That must have been embarrassing."
Reading books together that explore different emotions and discussing characters' feelings is another excellent way to build this emotional vocabulary naturally.
Use Art and Creative Expression
Creative activities provide a non-verbal outlet for emotions that children may struggle to articulate. Provide materials like crayons, paint, clay, or collage supplies and invite your child to create something that shows how they're feeling. You might ask them to draw their day, create a color that matches their mood, or build something with playdough when they're upset. The process matters more than the product, and many children find it easier to express difficult feelings through art than through words.
We have used art therapy for years to help children express emotions as well as manage big feelings.
Model Healthy Emotional Expression
Children learn by watching you. When you experience emotions, narrate them appropriately: "I'm feeling frustrated because the store was out of what we needed, so I'm going to take some deep breaths."
Show your child how you cope with disappointment, express joy, or manage stress.
When you make mistakes, demonstrate how to acknowledge feelings and make repairs: "I'm sorry I raised my voice. I was feeling overwhelmed, but that wasn't okay. Let me try again."
Establish Emotion Check-In Routines
Create regular times to talk about feelings, such as during dinner or bedtime. You might use a feelings chart where everyone points to their emotion, or go around and share one feeling from the day. Some families use a "rose, thorn, and bud" practice where each person shares something good (rose), something challenging (thorn), and something they're looking forward to (bud). These routines normalize emotional conversations and make them a natural part of family life.
Create a Calm-Down Corner or Comfort Space
Designate a cozy area in your home where your child can go when they need to process big feelings. Include comforting items like soft pillows, stuffed animals, books, sensory toys, or art supplies. This isn't a time-out space for punishment, but rather a safe haven where your child can retreat to feel their emotions and self-regulate. You might include a feelings poster or breathing exercise cards to give them tools for working through intense moments.
Hold Family Meetings
In our family, we use a bell to call family meetings. When that bell rings, it’s serious business.
Anytime someone is feeling too much of something—anger because a sibling took a toy, jealousy about missing out on plans, frustration over chores not getting done, or embarrassment about being corrected in front of grandparents—anyone can ring the bell. No explanations required. Ringing it simply means: a BIG feeling needs to be heard.
When the bell is rung, we pause. We acknowledge it. And we set a time for a family meeting…ideally that same day.
During the meeting, the person who rang the bell speaks first. Everyone else listens. We go around the family, responding to what was shared and naming our own feelings as they come up. The goal isn’t to decide who’s right or wrong, rather it’s to make space for feelings to be expressed, understood, and held with care.
This has taught our kids (and us) that big feelings don’t need to explode or disappear. They simply need to be held until the time is right to express them. It’s been a powerful lesson for our children, and an equally important reminder and practice for us as adults.
Art Therapy to Help Kids Manage Emotions
While creative activities at home can be incredibly beneficial, sometimes children need additional support from a trained professional. Art therapy combines psychological techniques with creative expression, providing a powerful therapeutic approach for children who struggle with emotional regulation, trauma, anxiety, or communication challenges.
In art therapy sessions, a licensed art therapist creates a safe, non-judgmental environment where children can explore their feelings through various artistic media. Unlike casual art-making, art therapy is intentionally structured to help children process experiences, develop coping strategies, and gain insight into their emotional patterns. The therapist helps children understand the meaning behind their creations and translate those insights into healthier emotional expression and behavior.
If your child continues to struggle with emotional expression despite your best efforts at home, a professional child therapist might be the specialized support they need.
Therapy for Kids in South Jersey
At GIA Institute, we understand that every child's emotional needs are unique. Our experienced therapists specialize in helping children and families develop healthy emotional expression and communication skills. Whether your child is experiencing a lack of emotion or big feelings, our team is prepared to support your family.
Don't wait to get your child the help they deserve. Contact GIA Institute today to schedule a consultation and learn how we can partner with you in nurturing your child's emotional wellbeing. Together, we can help your child build the emotional skills they need to thrive.
As relational therapists, we believe that working with a therapist who “gets” you - one who you trust can help you - is the foundation for successful therapy. To ensure the best possible match, we'll schedule a consultation to discuss your specific needs and preferences. We'll consider your cultural background and identity, your goals, and your financial situation to help connect you with a therapist who is right for you.
For in-person sessions in South Jersey, our office is located in downtown Somers Point, NJ. For your convenience, we also offer online sessions for anyone in New Jersey.
